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Aries
March 21 - April 20 |
Your
flatmates are poisoning your air space. Offer to buy the next toilet
roll |
| |
Taurus
April 21 - May 21 |
Six
of one is suddenly less than half dozen of another. It has always
been this way. |
| |
Gemini
May 22 - June 21 |
An out-of-body experience becomes permanent.
|
| |
Cancer
June 22 - July 22 |
A
message from beyond arrives postage due. The universe expects you
to ante up.
|
| |
Leo
July 23 - August 23 |
Leo
the lion will roar at something on television. Time to take that short
walk to oblivion. Use drink, as always. |
| |
Virgo
August 24 - Sept 23 |
Beware
a flame haired man carrying baggage. A friend will paint her dog gold
and train it to sit still for hours. |
| |
Libra
Sept 24 - October 23 |
Glands
will inflate in the company of Leos. Whose glands is unclear. An old
friend will berate the owner of the glands. |
| |
Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 22 |
I
see little for Scorpios this month other than a dank void of empty
reflection and some weight gain. |
| |
Sagittarius
Nov 23 - Dec 21 |
A
coach trip of visiting evangelists will crash into your building.
You and one other will be saved. |
| |
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 20 |
With Venus descendant, the dogs of dismay will howl at your moonbox.
Update your Facebook status. |
| |
Aquarius
Jan 21 - Feb 19 |
The
dawning of the age of Aquarius happened a long time ago. Get over
it. Move on. Nobody is interested.n age |
| |
Pisces
Feb 20 - March 20 |
see
Taurus |
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