ALTERNATIVE
REMEDY 
In these times in which we are all looking for answers,
it seems to me that the wisdom of the ancients is often overlooked.
It is clear, of course, that the ancients did not have complete
wisdom, otherwise they would still walk among us.
In my younger days, I took peyote with native Americans and smoked
the pipe of possibility with high priests. Yes, I experimented
with drugs and substances. But, I do not condone that behaviour.
In 1979, in a remote part of India, I ingested something which
made me see and smell things I never wish to see or smell again.
My travels in South America in the latter part of the 80's saw
me chew coca leaves with monkeys and share needles with burned
out vets of the Salvadorean wars. In a shabby apartment in Cairo
in 1990, at my lowest ebb, I smoked pieces of carpet and injected
dirty postcards. It was only when I returned to Britain and saw
the havoc that drugs had caused in my country, that I turned my
back on narcotics once and for all and embraced vodka.
Yes. Vodka. It is time for the Britain of today to ban all drugs
and lower the price of vodka.The medicinal properties of vodka
are well-known, but what is rarely mentioned - because it is not
politically correct to do so - is that vodka can transform any
ordinary person into someone interesting and witty and can imbue
that person with a fine singing voice. Clearly it should not be
served or sold to anyone under the age of thirty, but legislation
of some sort should be put in place to allow our nation - our
once proud nation - to use vodka as a social restorative.
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