NATION OF ISLAM "BEST
DRESSED RELIGION"
Fashion experts have chosen the Nation Of Islam as the winner of the
controversial "Best Dressed Religion" award. Style experts
from around the world rated religious movements in terms of their
look and dress sense
and gave the foot high statue - the Caliph - to a beaming George Farrakhan
at a glittering event in New York.
Vogue writer Karen Lean was impressed."It was a slam dunk for
the Nation. I mean, I just loved that whole Sixties mod cool meets
Mao-Tse Tung rigour thing wrapped up in a nightclub mafia chic. And
the marching - God I love that."
The result left bookies reeling after style watchers had tipped Voodoo
as a hot favourite for the award. Panel member Trudi Smith said It
was a tough one. "In the end we felt that Haitian Voodoo was
too "party" for the post 9/11 world. The Nation has a simplicity
of line and form which offers calm in these times in which we are
all looking for answers."
The star studded guest list read like a who's who of star studded
guest lists. Tom Cruise and John Travolta flew the flag for the Scientologists
and Catherine Zeta Jones was seen giving it up for the Church of Wales.
Rumours that Madonna would appear proved only to be rumours but Fatboy
Slim appeared in his DJ guise spinning tunes for the showbiz- fashion-religion
party of the year. Tensions grew high as the champagne flowed and
the ballot was counted, recounted and counted again and the award
ceremony itself was almost marred by scuffles when two Catholics and
a Jew threw a Hare Krishna out the front door.
Read Seonaid Divine's account of that party in full in lifestyle.. |
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 DRUNK COP MOUNTS EIFFEL TOWER
A mounted cop has been suspended after riding his horse to the top
of the Eiffel Tower. Tourists were forced to flee the Parisian landmark
when officer Alain "Roy" Roget and his horse Fleur appeared
on the viewing platform at the top of the tower. Fourteen people
were injured in the panic, including a bystander at the foot of
the monument who was hit by what one witness described as "a
great steaming pile of horse crap."
Eiffel Tower man Jacques Cantona told wreckered "The cop was
drunk. So was the horse. If this is what we can expect from a federal
Europe, I'm moving to Burma."
Drunk-cop watchers say this is only the latest example of "extreme
cop sports", where police officers outdo each other in hair
raising stunts. Last month two British detectives were suspended
after setting fire to a canoe inside a library and, in November
2003, the dog handler section of Strathclyde Police was canned after
forcing police dogs to act like huskies and pull a fat cop fourteen
miles on a two-seater sofa.
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JUSTIN HEARTACHE JOY FURY
Justin Timberlake has spoken for the first time of his fury over reports
that recent heartaches have brought him joy. The pop hunk told close
friends that he feels no joy when his teen fans have heartache. He
told one insider "I can't marry all of them unless we all become
Moonies or something. "
Celebrity magazines had reported a tired and emotional Timberlake
brag to his entourage that he liked it when his adoring fans cry over
him. The now famous cellphone recording of Timberlake's "I like
it when snivelling teenage rats start cutting their stupid wrists
because of me." has been handed to independent voice analysis
experts in a row which threatens to overshadow Justin's forthcoming
marriage to Danni Minogue.
Said a Justin insider, "That whole cellphone thing was only Justin
trying out some lyrics for a new song. He was, like, singing it down
the phone to me but he was talking the words because it was a bit
where he raps in the song." |
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