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Edition # 10
World news through our eyes
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NATION OF ISLAM "BEST DRESSED RELIGION"
Fashion experts have chosen the Nation Of Islam as the winner of the controversial "Best Dressed Religion" award. Style experts from around the world rated religious movements in terms of their look and dress sense
and gave the foot high statue - the Caliph - to a beaming George Farrakhan at a glittering event in New York.

Vogue writer Karen Lean was impressed."It was a slam dunk for the Nation. I mean, I just loved that whole Sixties mod cool meets Mao-Tse Tung rigour thing wrapped up in a nightclub mafia chic. And the marching - God I love that."

The result left bookies reeling after style watchers had tipped Voodoo as a hot favourite for the award. Panel member Trudi Smith said It was a tough one. "In the end we felt that Haitian Voodoo was too "party" for the post 9/11 world. The Nation has a simplicity of line and form which offers calm in these times in which we are all looking for answers."

The star studded guest list read like a who's who of star studded guest lists. Tom Cruise and John Travolta flew the flag for the Scientologists and Catherine Zeta Jones was seen giving it up for the Church of Wales.
Rumours that Madonna would appear proved only to be rumours but Fatboy Slim appeared in his DJ guise spinning tunes for the showbiz- fashion-religion party of the year. Tensions grew high as the champagne flowed and the ballot was counted, recounted and counted again and the award ceremony itself was almost marred by scuffles when two Catholics and a Jew threw a Hare Krishna out the front door.

Read Seonaid Divine's account of that party in full in lifestyle..
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empty space gifDRUNK COP MOUNTS EIFFEL TOWER
A mounted cop has been suspended after riding his horse to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Tourists were forced to flee the Parisian landmark when officer Alain "Roy" Roget and his horse Fleur appeared on the viewing platform at the top of the tower. Fourteen people were injured in the panic, including a bystander at the foot of the monument who was hit by what one witness described as "a great steaming pile of horse crap."
Eiffel Tower man Jacques Cantona told wreckered "The cop was drunk. So was the horse. If this is what we can expect from a federal Europe, I'm moving to Burma."
Drunk-cop watchers say this is only the latest example of "extreme cop sports", where police officers outdo each other in hair raising stunts. Last month two British detectives were suspended after setting fire to a canoe inside a library and, in November 2003, the dog handler section of Strathclyde Police was canned after forcing police dogs to act like huskies and pull a fat cop fourteen miles on a two-seater sofa.


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JUSTIN HEARTACHE JOY FURY
Justin Timberlake has spoken for the first time of his fury over reports that recent heartaches have brought him joy. The pop hunk told close friends that he feels no joy when his teen fans have heartache. He told one insider "I can't marry all of them unless we all become Moonies or something. "
Celebrity magazines had reported a tired and emotional Timberlake brag to his entourage that he liked it when his adoring fans cry over him. The now famous cellphone recording of Timberlake's "I like it when snivelling teenage rats start cutting their stupid wrists because of me." has been handed to independent voice analysis experts in a row which threatens to overshadow Justin's forthcoming marriage to Danni Minogue.
Said a Justin insider, "That whole cellphone thing was only Justin trying out some lyrics for a new song. He was, like, singing it down the phone to me but he was talking the words because it was a bit where he raps in the song."

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