SEX OLYMPICS
Olympic sports mandarins are assessing sex as an Olympic event. Following the success of the recent Amsterdam Sex Olympics, the IOC is giving consideration for calls to make sex an official Olympic event.
Jan Weuters, head of the IOC steering committee admitted that colleagues have been studying video tapes and DVDs of the Amsterdam event. Said Weuters, " With synchronised swimming and ballroom dancing now part of the Olympic curriculum, it may only be a matter of time before sexual activity is recognised as a genuine sport".

Sexathon
While the IOC is reluctant to release details, it is believed that the proposal contains suggestions for a so-called "Sexathon" whereby international teams would compete in a knock-out tournament of three rounds, comprising tests of duration, orgasm volume and a freestyle event.

Spectator friendly
Supporters of the proposal cite criteria such as stamina, style and artistic content and point to the global popularity of sex not only as a hobby among consenting adults, but as a genuine and inclusive spectator friendly event. Further, say activists, sex fulfils The Olympic Truce resolution, "Building a peaceful and better world through sport and the Olympic Ideal".

DRUGS IN SPORT - the truth
With drugs an increasing part of modern sport, we asked an expert to test the effects of recreational drugs on various sports. Dr Martin Miller asked six regular drug users to take part in a range of sporting activities whilst under the influence of three popular drugs. His findings make for shock results.



Cannabis - useful in low impact sports such as snooker, bowls and darts. Extremely negative results in the 100 metre hurdles and the pole vault.





Cocaine - short term boost to seratonin levels put competitors "in the zone" before the start of each event. A 100 metre sprint saw all competitors quick off the blocks but suffer attention deficit before reaching the finish line. 20-30% performace enhancement for ten pin bowling. Minimal performance enhancement for golf.

Ecstasy: useless in all sports except the four- man bobsleigh.

GOLF - ARCTIC OPEN
"only a matter of time"

After years of lobbying by Greenland's golf officials, the inaugaural
Arctic Open could happen as soon as 2005.

World number one Tiger Woods was a spectator at the fourth World Ice Golf Championship in the town of Uummannaq in Northern Greenland and is said to have given his blessing to a proposal to make the event part of golf's official calender. Said a spokesman "It is only a matter of time". World Ice Golf Champion Roger Beames
welcomed the moves and urged golfers of the world to unite behind the proposal.

surreal
Jack O'Keefe is a regular competitor. "The cold doesn't matter as much when there is so much to wonder at. It feels surreal here, a little like a film set, or maybe the surface of the moon. The surroundings reminded me of the final scene in the Superman movie where Clark flys back to Krypton".

O'Keefe's view and that of other Ice Golfers can be found at www.greenland-guide.dk/icegolf/