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Aries
March 21 - April 20 |
With
Mars now in reverse, this is a good time to sleep with an ex |
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Taurus
April 21 - May 21 |
A
man dressed in clingfilm will startle you |
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Gemini
May 22 - June 21 |
Tried and tested methods should be discarded in favour of the demented |
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Cancer
June 22 - July 22 |
A
search for faith will moisten your armpits |
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Leo
July 23 - August 23 |
Tension
between friends will result in a murder |
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Virgo
August 24 - Sept 23 |
You
will find a car in your garden |
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Libra
Sept 24 - October 23 |
A
beguling will offer will beguile you. Avoid heartache by resisting
the beguilement |
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Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 22 |
The
famous scorpio temper will lead to a community service order |
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Sagittarius
Nov 23 - Dec 21 |
Be
kind to a tramp, for he may be a princeling who wanders in disguise
among his people |
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Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 20 |
An
old friend will call with news of a dervish |
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Aquarius
Jan 21 - Feb 19 |
Aquarians
enter a period of disillusionment, leading to puffy feet by Wednesday |
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Pisces
Feb 20 - March 20 |
see
Taurus |
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