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Edition # 7
World news through our eyes
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dirty weather bombTERROR GROUPS HAVE WEATHER BOMB
Terror groups are said to be close to building a so-called "weather bomb." Said to have been a pet project of Iraqi hardman Chemical Ali, the weather bomb combines a fission device with a barrage of depleted CFC and sulphide emmissions to poison air purities and destroy eco-systems.

Chilling
Former weapons inspector Will Andrews told wreckered, "It is like an ecological neutron bomb - designed to kill eco-systems, not people. They will die afterwards." Indeed, the delay in its effects is one of the most chilling aspect of the weather bomb. Said Sol, "By the time we realise it has been used, it will be too late."

Apocalypse
In a statement to the House, Jack Cunningham warned of the dangers. "This weather bomb can cause local and global climate change in a matter of weeks after its detonation. If used in Northern Europe it would cause an apocolypse of icebergs in the Thames and have palm trees growing all over Denmark. The tidal wave alone would wash away Ireland."

Suitcase
Fears grow that components may have reached the UK which would allow terrorists to build a crude version of the device, a dirty weather bomb. The suitcase-sized horror weapon could devastate the immediate climate of an area the size of London. Recent training exercises by emergency services responding to potential terrorist attacks may have to be overhauled in light of this new threat.
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popePOPE DOES HOKEY-COKEY
Scotching rumours that his health is failing, the pope did the hokey-cokey last week. The Holy Father and his entourage visited the Casbah Lounge in downtown Naples and were seen to have joined late night revellers on stage in what was initially described as a conga line but which "morphed into a hokey-cokey."

"He was putting his left leg in like a man 20 years his junior" said one witness. Others described bishops who got on the karaoke and did a Westlife song. Catholics around the world welcomed the news that the holy father is as sprightly as ever. Sister Mary of the Immaculate Conception told wreckered, "Joy is present."

GeniePROOF OF GENIES 
In a statement to Highland news organisations, Oban man David Hamilton claimed to have found proof of genies. Hamilton, a self-employed man, claimed to have rubbed a lamp on Oban harbour late Saturday night and been presented by a floating figure wearing "flouncy trousers and a turban."

"It just sort of rose up out of the lamp". said Hamilton. "It said the three wishes thing was baloney and you only got one wish so what did I want. And I wasn't thinking clearly and I just said back to him,
"Any chance you could get me a taxi.. ?" Bystanders confirmed that Hamilton got into a taxi only
momemts after talking to a genie.

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