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HORSE
RACING - COULD IT WORK FOR COWS ?
Claims that a form of horse racing for cows, so-called "cow
racing", could reinvigorate the gambling industry were made
at a hush-hush meeting of farmers, breeders and online betting firms.
"Punters are always looking for something new" said farmer
David Howie, "and cow racing could be the next big thing."
Insiders are
said to be looking favourably at the proposal. Said one bookmaker,
"These days you have dogs, camels and ostriches competing on
the track. There is no good reason why cows shouldn't also be put
through their paces."
The initial proposal is for racecows between the ages of three and
five to compete over a mile. The cows would be jockeyless and, much
like greyhounds, would chase an attractive moving target. David
Howie has suggested an electric rail which would propel a life-sized
farmer carrying a mini-trough.
James Steel
of the Farmers Union gave cautious backing to the plan, but called
for more support from government for British farmers. "Diversification
In Action is one thing but to have dairy cows charging round a track
urged on by excited racegoers is bound to have an effect on yield".
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are horses on the way out..
and cows on the way in ? |
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RUGBY
WORLD CUP SONG FURY
A
package of measures mooted by Culture minister Tessa Jowell designed
to make the sport more widely accessible includes mixed sex teams,
gay referees and an oblong shaped ball which will bounce in even
more unpredictable patterns than the current oval ball.The row
prompted Scotland legend Gavin Hastings to plead for calm. "It
is the fans who in the end will choose the song, no matter how catchy
the alternatives". Former England hero Will Carling scoffed
at the suggestion that homophobia is rife in rugby culture. "I've
got wavy hair and I bonked Princess Diana and you can't get much more gay than that."