In the wake of the death of Dolly the sheep (the GM sheep invented by Aberdeen scientists), poll after poll has confirmed that the general public does not trust boffins. Recent scientific breakthroughs have included ivf, stem cell research, separating conjoined twins, inventing hermaphrodites, GM peas, a dog that looks like a banister and a national DNA database which can spot paedophiles before they offend.

An IBM poll conducted for wreckered shows that 71% of urban dwellers wish the boffins to stop what they are doing and concentrate on a cure for hangovers. This contrasts with the 59% figure for those who live in the country and who would rather take it violently up the bum than agree with anything.