Spoof football news, comedy sport stories and sporting humour - wreckered - the comedy football and sport magazine
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Edition # 4
Sometime 2003
World news through our eyes
frontpagenewsboxyourwrecksportslifestyle
Amoruso penis interest "surprising"
Sexworkers claim that the interest shown in the size of Lorenzo Amorusos' penis by Scottish sports journalists is surprising. For much of this season, the Scottish media has been entranced by the dimensions and weight of the Rangers star's penis.

macho culture
Jullia Novak, of Sex Outreach Scotland, told wreckered "Given the macho culture of Scottish football, it is surprising that so many football journalists have been so obsessed with the size of this man's cock." She went on to name two well known sports journalists as "size queens". For legal reasons, wreckered is unable to print the names.

homo erotic fervour
We did, however, contact BBC Radio Scotland's Off the Ball ( no, really, we did) and asked them to confirm that recent editions of the hit radio show have promoted an undisguised homo erotic fervour on the subject of Amoruso's penis. At time of posting this month's wreckered onto the net, we have had no response.


Lorenzo Amoruso







Tam Cowan and Stuart Cosgrove
of BBC's Off the Ball

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Bertie - rumours not upset me
Scotland supremo Bertie Vogts blasted claims that he has been upset by rumours. "These stories that are going around are baseless recollectons of yesterday's memories" he said in faltering English at SFA headquarters today.

He added angrily "It is true that in my youth I enjoyed disco music but that is as far as it goes. And I still believe that if we are to live in hope and harmony ve must gaze to the future."

The rumourmill has been in overdrive since a Sunday newspaper printed claims that Vogts had taken out an injunction against the newspaper to stop them from printing claims.

An SFA spokesman told wreckered "Bertie wishes to leave this behind and move forward with the Scotland team. We believe in Bertie". He then offered wreckered man a free badge bearing the "We Believe in Bertie" slogan.

vogts -
ve must gaze to the future
email the editor copyright 2003 - wreckered.co.uk