Asylum seekers have been dressing as pantomime horses to smuggle themselves into the UK.
The flood has led to calls for stricter controls on fancy dress hire, amid fears that terrorists could strike during the festive season. The Prime Minister urged people to be extra vigilant over the holiday period and warned of tough decisions ahead.

Scots Tory leader David McLetchie estimates that up to 5,000 people may have illegally entered Scotland by simply dressing as a pantomime horse and getting the train from London. "Last week in
my constituency, an Afghan family applied for a council house while dressed as Widow Twanky".

Intelligence agencies have warned of a plot to flood Scottish cities with Chechen orphans disguised as the seven dwarves. The claim has alarmed Dwarf
Rights Groups, who fear it will lead to reprisals
against those below average height.

The Home Secretary conceded as much in his Commons statement. "Yes. It will lead to all sorts of bother for many people. But that is the price we pay for living in a democracy".

The trade in human misery has spread to the Carribean where Rastafarian Jamaican yardy boy "snakehead" drug gangs have been employing horses as mules.

The mules are sent in horse containers by air or by sea, often accompanied by women who have swallowed an asylum seeker.

Richard White, chairman of the right wing think tank Freedom To Punish told wreckered "We are virtually under siege."